an open letter to my 12 year old self

Dear 12 year old Julia,

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm overwhelmed because of how you've grown, not just because you've grown taller but you've grown with such a strong heart. Even though you had a challenging season, you've embraced it and called it a blessing because it really shaped you what you've become.

I remember the sleepless nights, the times where you just lie in your bed and stare at the ceiling, hoping the worry and pain would go away but it never did. You hugged your pillow tighter when the feeling of loneliness crept around the room, hoping to crawl inside your brain, but it never did.

It never consumed you.

You fought a silent battle between you and your fears, pressuring you and telling you awful things, but you held back and kept walking away even though it was right beside you.

While you experienced that whole situation, you pulled that pain away and you became a great friend and "ate" to your friends. You were so happy when you walked inside the classroom, just seeing them so happy it just made you feel happy too.

But all of that changed when you went back to God, the only one who can help you, the only One who can remove the pain in your heart.

Day by day your heart slowly mended with you just having a conversation with Him, talking about random stuff and it made your heart full. You also set a challenge to pray before you go to sleep and now I always do it even though I can't even think straight. Thank Him always, thank Him for the crazy challenge that you've conquered. You were literally a superhero.

Love, Jules ♡