reality | les. four

i've seen you stalking him on facebook, don't deny it.

the way you look at him far away, hoping he would notice you.

the compliments, smiles, i know it melts your heart.

the way your heart skips a beat when you walk past him, all of your emotion collides.

sometimes you overthink, i've seen you deciding on what clothes you'll wear because you don't want to feel good but you  want people to notice you, him noticing you.

but you feel empty inside, you're longing for something, anything that can help your heart in this situation.

you distract with your fantasies your heart desires, day dreaming for hours, hoping it would become real.

hoping that your dream can turn into reality.

your mind is wonderful, but your using it for something that wouldn't last, something that your mind made up to make you somehow happy, somehow content.

it doesn't work that way.

you still feel lonely.

somehow, you have the courage to talk to him.

"he seems nice" you said to yourself, but it slowly turned into a very casual conversation

you smiled a bit, enjoying every second.

that longing, those day dreams, slowly melted away.

he seems like a great guy but he wasn't the person that you expected.

those feelings? gone.

all of it was gone.

day after day you realize that you don't really need a romantic relationship with someone.

you slowly didn't care about what you wore and what you were doing, it was all back to normal.

you always think about the time you liked your friend and you were grateful.

grateful that you experienced that because you realized that there's something more beautiful and amazing than you can ever desire.

you just have to wait.